Saturday, October 24, 2009

Angels Who Hate Halos

There's an interesting concept in heaven that I like to call Parallelism. Not the literary device, I'm done with all that crap, school is completely done now. This is like live, in person simulcasts. See, I've been going to bomber games down on Earth all year. I get tickets the old fashioned way; buying them for real. I wasn't sure if I should do that at first, I don't have a paying Earthbound job, so money has to be created. Technically I guess that makes it counterfeit, but if I create it to be real, it's just as real as any currency. My only worry is the capital I introduce into the system, which they say lowers the value of the dollar, but I think a multi-billion dollar budget can survive the price I shell out for tickets to the fucking ballgame. The fuck am I, an economist?

So, I like to engage in the real deal, but it's different in October, when the games are sold out. I can't in good conscious take a seat away from a living human who needs it, so what I do instead is just have it replicated. I don't recreate the whole thing, I don't have enough power to do that, it's more like a live action simulcast: it happens down there, I happens up here. Maybe there's a slight delay, but that's what happens in tv too. So imagine it's like watching the game on a tv so large, it's all life size, and you're sitting in it, kind of like what the hi def tv ads say watching their sets is like, only for real.

Sashial and I went to the games in California this week, ironic team name and all. It was her idea, I personally find it sickening to wade through enemy territory. But she loves it, it must be her antagonistic nature. And she's unapologetic in her affiliation; I prefer to look neutral, but she comes in her full bomber regalia. Usually, nobody says anything, especially after they see what she looks like, and if course, god help them if they do. When I asked her why she would even bother with the live experience on the opposition's home territory, she just told me to wait. After the game on Tuesday, she said, "See? There's nothing like getting fourty thousand jerks to shut up."

"I thought you like mankind."

She said, "I do, sweetheart. But right now, they're the enemy. They're jerks, and I love each and every one of them."

Fair enough. Sashial continues to surprise me. I thought she'd be furious after the loss the other night. But when the game ended, she just smiled and nodded her head.

"You're not pissed?" I asked.

"Not really. We're going back to New York, where we can celebrate for real instead of tens of thousands of simulated whiners."

So wise, so wise.

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