Lira said something to me the other day that really made me think. "How can you stand it?"
"What?" I asked.
"These people and their problems," she said. "So many people never get any better. Even if you help them through a crisis, there might be another one coming soon. Did you ever think that you're doing this all for nothing?"
"Do you?"
"Hey, pay attention, we're not talking about me. I'm asking you a question, I'll put it in writing if it'll help you figure out what your own thoughts mean."
"OK, OK, ease up," I said. "Well, this one guy, he's got a bit of a confidence problem, it makes it hard for him to act. Just about every few weeks he's moaning over something he didn't do, a chance he may have missed."
Lira sneered. "Life's full of regrets."
"Yeah, but it's easier to regret something you did than something you didn't do. He feels like he can't change his life until he changes who he is. Change like that doesn't come easy. You can't just flip a switch and suddenly have the confidence to act, talk to a stranger, take a chance with something, especially when there's no guarantee the outcome will be any different."
"So again, why do it?"
"Because if he abandons hope, I have to have hope for him. Even if he gives up. If I never give up, he'll still have a chance to find happiness, no matter how much he believes it won't happen."
Lira smiled. "That's a good answer. You know, if I'd asked you that a year ago, you probably wouldn't have known. You were more about saving people from the hurt you felt when you were alive. Now you're starting to develop the wisdom of how divine intervention works."
I wasn't leaving that alone. "I'm sorry, did you just say I had wisdom?"
"Don't let it get to your head, you idiot. You can answer one question out of fifty and you still fail the test miserably."
"Glad to see you're not going soft on me," I said. "Now tell me this. How do you deal with people who won't get better?"
"I'm not human."
"Neither am I."
"Yes, but you were, dunce" she said. "I never was, I don't have to deal with issues like that. I am as I am."
True. She's not human. Sometimes I forget that.
Monday, December 6, 2010
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